Will You Always Love Me?

The blog tour for my novella, Over Your Dead  Body, is kicking off today and I was doing up some promotional material over the weekend.  This involved me trawling through a number of stock image sites looking for appropriate photos.

Over Your Dead Body - the story of one man's need to resolve the past so he can have a future

Over Your Dead Body – the story of one man’s need to resolve the past so he can have a future.

Over Your Dead Body is the story of Ryan Kennedy and how he came to realise he was gay and the challenges he faced and the choices he made in relation to that realisation.  So, naturally enough I was searching for images that involved some male on male action. It was the weekend so of course the kids were in and out of the office, wondering what I was doing and when I was going to be available to play with them. My seven year old son had wandered in a few times, not particularly paying attention to what I was doing but then he came right up beside me and looked at the images on the screen.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I explained about the blog tour and that I needed to make up a few promotional images in relation to the story.

“But why do you have photos of a man kissing a man?” he asked.

I explained how the story is about a man who is attracted to men.  (He understands the concept. When homosexuality is referred to in our house it is in the same context as heterosexuality, it’s just a matter of who you want to be with – whether that’s a man who wants to be with a woman or man who wants to be with a man or  woman who wants to be with a woman.  It doesn’t matter. However, he hasn’t yet seen a man kissing a man.)

“What happens to the man in the story?” he asked.

I explained how some people don’t accept homosexuality and that this man’s mum and dad didn’t love him any more after they found out he was gay and this had a huge effect on his life.

Photo of man in emotional pain with quote from a book

One Of The Promotional Teasers Depicting Ryan’s Anguish

My son’s face fell and his eyes became sad.

“They didn’t love him any more? he whispered, like that was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen.

“No,” I replied.

My son turned to me, his little face blighted with confusion and sadness for this man in the story.

“And what happens if I love a man when I grow up” he asked, “will you and Daddy still love me?”

I pulled him to me and kissed his little cheek.

“My beautiful boy,” I said, “whether you love a man or you love a woman, me and Daddy will always love you.”

He smiled, threw his arms around me in a monster hug and walked happily out the door.

Over Your Dead Body encompasses all the pain and suffering I have witnessed over the years of friends and acquaintances who have had to face rejection and even abuse by those closest to them, just because they were gay.  Ryan eventually comes through it all and finds his happy ending, sadly this is not the case for all.

Quote in yellow writing over black and white photo of forest with a path splitting in two

A Perfect Moment

There are times in life when everything comes together in one perfect moment.  These moments are rare and sometimes we can be so distracted, we only realise they happened after they have passed. To be aware of one of these moments whilst it is happening and to have a camera on you at the same time, to capture the magic and preserve it for all eternity is an incredible stroke of luck.  Thankfully I had one of these such incidences of luck last year when on holidays in Ireland and took the photo below.

Photo of girl running in the water at the beach

A Perfect Moment

The photo is of my daughter as she runs along the beach, the water splashing at her heels and the sun warming her bones.  Now, the west of Ireland is a beautiful place to be on any day of the week but on a day when the sun shines it is sensational.  We were blessed with weeks of uninterrupted sunshine, long lazy days of summer with ice cream afternoons, beach days and breath-taking sunsets. To get a summer like this in Ireland is too rare for words, to get a summer like this the only time you have been home for two years is incredibly special.

This photo was taken at about 4:30 pm in the afternoon on a day when the heat from the sun enveloped us like an invisible blanket that never seemed to end.  The kids were pottering around the beach, building sandcastles, making stone sculptures and just being.  I was relaxed in a way I can only be when I am in the west of Ireland – at one with body and soul.

My daughter decided to go in for a dip and I watched and listened as she lit up the beach with her smile and squeals of delight.  As the cold water connected with her little body, she ran unfettered and free, a perfect study of joy in flight and I knew….. I knew I was witnessing one of those childhood moments that precious memories are made from.  I reached for my phone, activated the camera and clicked and clicked.

A year later I’m sitting at my desk in Australia, yearning for an Irish summer in the west of Ireland and not knowing when I’ll be there again but I have a precious memory, a moment of pure joy captured on canvas, hanging on my wall.  For the minute that will have to do but I feel so lucky to have grabbed that moment and preserved it.  Looking at the photo brings me back to that day and an indescribable moment of happiness shared by me and my girl.