Wishbones And Backbones

I was all ready to get stuck into writing a post when I came across a poem that blew me away. Regular followers of this blog will know just how much I love poetry, so I can’t resist sharing this one with you all.  I particularly love the last two lines.  No.  I ADORE the last two lines which are attributed to Clementine Paddleford an American journalist and writer.

Enjoy.

FOR MY DAUGHTER

By Sarah McMane

“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” – Clementine Paddleford

Never play the princess when you can
be the queen:
rule the kingdom, swing a scepter,
wear a crown of gold.
Don’t dance in glass slippers,
crystal carving up your toes —
be a barefoot Amazon instead,
for those shoes will surely shatter on your feet.

Never wear only pink
when you can strut in crimson red,
sweat in heather grey, and
shimmer in sky blue,
claim the golden sun upon your hair.
Colors are for everyone,
boys and girls, men and women —
be a verdant garden, the landscape of Versailles,
not a pale primrose blindly pushed aside.

Chase green dragons and one-eyed zombies,
fierce and fiery toothy monsters,
not merely lazy butterflies,
sweet and slow on summer days.
For you can tame the most brutish beasts
with your wily wits and charm,
and lizard scales feel just as smooth
as gossamer insect wings.

Tramp muddy through the house in
a purple tutu and cowboy boots.
Have a tea party in your overalls.
Build a fort of birch branches,
a zoo of Legos, a rocketship of
Queen Anne chairs and coverlets,
first stop on the moon.

Dream of dinosaurs and baby dolls,
bold brontosaurus and bookish Belle,
not Barbie on the runway or
Disney damsels in distress —
you are much too strong to play
the simpering waif.

Don a baseball cap, dance with Daddy,
paint your toenails, climb a cottonwood.
Learn to speak with both your mind and heart.
For the ground beneath will hold you, dear —
know that you are free.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter,
where your backbone ought to be.

Tim Cook – Why What He Had To Say Today Matters

Tim Cook - Apple CEO

Tim Cook – Apple CEO

I had a completely different post planned for today but then I woke up this morning, checked my twitter account and saw Tim Cook had finally confirmed what a lot of people knew already – that he is gay.

A quick analysis of the twitter chatter revealed opinion was divided into a number of distinct camps.

  1. Congratulations
  2. Who cares?
  3. It’s his own business – we don’t need to know.
  4. The CEO of Apple is gay – should we boycott their products.

Let me deal with number four first.  I’m sure this type of thinking is one of the reasons why Tim Cook felt it necessary to say something.  It demonstrates just how much bigotry still exists in the world and how something as inherent and harmless as a human being’s sexual preference can be held against them.  It’s a guarantee that these bigots are buying other products made by gay hands, they are being served food in restaurants cooked by gay chefs and are being nursed back to health by gay nurses and doctors.  So if they want to deny themselves Apple products because Tim Cook is gay – then they should go right ahead and do that.  However, if the sexual orientation of the people involved in making products is the basis upon whether these bigots buy those products or not then they might soon find themselves with nothing to buy.

Apple - Not The Only Company With Products Made By Gay People

Apple – Not The Only Company With Products Made By Gay People

At the other end of the spectrum were those who applauded and congratulated Tim, recognizing the bravery and importance of his decision to openly admit to being a gay man.  You’ll find me in this category.

And then we had the “who cares” and the  “we don’t need to know” crew.  Now I am the first person to respect a person’s privacy and I know plenty of gay people who have chosen not to reveal the fact they  are gay, usually  not for their own benefit but to protect loved ones from any sort of recrimination.  I’m sure Tim Cook struggled with his decision from the point of view that his sexual orientation is a deeply personal thing, after all you don’t get heterosexual CEOs announcing what their sexual preferences are.  However, as the man himself said, “if hearing that the Apple CEO is gay can help someone struggling to come to terms with who he or she is, or bring comfort to anyone who feels alone, or inspire people to insist on their equality, then it’s worth the trade-off with my own privacy.”  It is important and if it helps others then we do need to know.

I watched so many of my gay friends struggle with despair over the years and the only way I knew how to help them was to give them my unquestionable support.  All of their stories have stayed with me and finally found release in my novella Over Your Dead Body, in which, coincidentally the main protagonist has made his money via  I.T. and investing in tech companies.  It’s a story very dear to my heart and one in which in my own infinitesimal way I hope to have also laid a brick along the sunlit and multi-coloured path towards acceptance and justice for all.

Over Your Dead Body - the story of one man's need to resolve the past so he can have a future

Over Your Dead Body – the story of one man’s need to resolve the past so he can have a future

tim cook working at desk

Brick by Brick